Divorce is tough on every member of the family. But if you really do want to minimize the negative impact that divorce can have on the children, remember to put their needs first. You really want to try your best to separate the adult relationship with you and your ex-spouse that’s failed from the relationship between you and your child and your ex-spouse and your child. You never want to put the kids in a situation in which they feel torn or they feel afraid to show love and affection to one parent because they might think that you feel that they’re being disloyal.
You also want to stop yourself from making any type of disparaging comments or put-downs about your ex in front of the children. Children are sponges. They’ll listen, and you don’t want them to ever feel like they’re torn or to think these disparaging things about the other spouse. You also want to try to present as much of a united front in making decisions about the kids’ education or disciplinary actions as you can. You don’t want the kids to feel like they have to listen to Mommy, but they don’t have to listen to Daddy, or vice versa. Try to stay neutral.
And this is a hard time for you, too. So when you feel the need to vent, or to talk about what’s happening in the divorce, or your feelings of upset or hurt about the spouse, don’t do it in front of the kids. Make sure that they’re not in listening earshot and just try to separate those feelings from what’s most important, which is their needs and advancing them and helping them through this really hard time.
We’ve got a ton of articles and resources on our website that deal with this topic, and they can help you to gather more information about coping strategies. Also, when you come in for a consultation, we’ll speak to you about what’s going on at home and hopefully we can provide some suggestions that you can implement right away. While it’s never easy, the divorce process is much more like a marathon than a sprint. So if you’re conscious of little things that can help you ease the burden, the kids will be benefited from that also. Thanks for stopping by.